Gentle, trauma-informed
birth debrief and reflection sessions
with Olivia Silverwood-Cope
NHS Midwife • yoga teacher • trauma-informed practitioner
Online or in-person in Stroud, Gloucestershire
Birth experiences can be distressing.
If yours left you feeling unheard, unsafe or with a lingering sense that something isn’t right, you’re not alone.
A birth reflection session, (sometimes called birth debrief), is a space to make sense of difficult, frightening or overwhelming experiences during conception, pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period, to understand your body's responses, and find your way to clarity and self-compassion.
Together we gently reflect on what happened, focusing on how it has affected you and any questions or feelings that remain. Drawing on an understanding of birth physiology, maternity services, the nervous system and the body's stress responses, sessions support people to process experiences at a pace that feels safe and manageable, helping to bring validation, integration and peace.
I am an experienced midwife, trained doula and yoga teacher, currently training in Somatic Experiencing®.
My work brings together an understanding of birth physiology, trauma, the nervous system and the body’s innate capacity to heal.
You may benefit from a birth debrief or reflection if:
any part of your birth, pregnancy, conception journey or postpartum felt difficult, overwhelming or traumatic
you felt frightened, powerless, unsupported or unheard during labour or birth
interventions, procedures or unexpected events left you feeling overridden or distressed
you find yourself replaying parts of the experience in your mind
you avoid thinking or talking about what happened or feel emotionally numb or disconnected from it
flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, anxiety or strong emotional reactions continue to affect you
you struggle with feelings of guilt, grief, anger, shame or self-blame
you were told your birth was “fine” but it doesn’t feel fine to you
your experience is affecting your confidence, relationships, bonding, parenting or sense of self
you would like understanding, reassurance or support before a future pregnancy or birth
you’ve felt unsafe in yourself since your pregnancy and or birth
Kind Words
What happens in a birth debrief/ reflection
We sit together for 75 minutes, either at my home in Stroud or online. The session begins simply, with whatever feels most present for you.
There is no pressure to tell your story in any particular way, or to share all of it. You might bring vivid memories or fragments of them, unanswered questions, emotions that surface without warning, difficulties bonding, ongoing body sensations, or simply a feeling that something about your birth, pregnancy or postpartum just doesn’t sit right. All of it is welcome.
Together we explore both the experience itself and the ways it may still be living in you now, physically, emotionally, and within your nervous system. Drawing on Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing® work and my understanding of birth physiology and trauma, we notice patterns of tension, overwhelm or shutdown, and gently support the nervous system toward regulation and integration.
The focus isn’t on retelling traumatic events from beginning to end. Instead we work with the parts of your experience that feel most charged, at your pace, with care, helping you begin to process what you’ve been holding.
If you have your birth notes, we can look at them together, or you can send them to me in advance to read through, though this is entirely optional. Some people come with specific questions about decisions that were made, why plans changed, or why particular interventions were needed. Others simply need their experience fully witnessed. Whatever your reasons and hopes for wanting to have a birth reflection, they are valid and welcome.
The session aims to help you make sense of what happened, reconnect with your body’s own wisdom and strength, and move toward greater understanding, self-compassion and peace. For some people, thinking about a future birth is part of that while for others simply want to feel more settled in themselves and in parenthood.
In the days following your session, I send you a detailed personal letter drawing together everything we have explored: the themes that emerged, moments that mattered, and insights that surfaced. People return to these letters again and again and report that they help consolidate what the session began, give language to things that can be hard to hold, and offer a reference point to come back to whenever it is needed.
There is also the option of a personalised yoga nidrã practice, carefully tailored to the specific themes, emotions and nervous system responses that arose through your birth story, a gentle somatic companion to the work we do in the birth reflection process. A recording of the practice is included afterwards for ongoing support and integration.
Birth reflection session (75 mins): £120
Personalised one-to-one yoga nidrã + bespoke recording: £95
Birth Experience peer support group
Held in conjunction with Stroud Motherhood Collective
*one space remaining*
Dates: Fridays 11.15am-1.15pm for six weeks from June 5th
Location: Grace & Glow studios, Lewiston Mill, Brimscombe, Stroud, GL5 2TE
The group is:
A gentle, held space in which to process your birth and the lasting impact it may be having.
An opportunity to meet others who are having a similar experience
FREE TO ATTEND
Suitable for anyone over six weeks postpartum who feels that their birth experience is still impacting their feelings on a day-to-day basis.
There is no need for a specific diagnosis, or for you to have experienced a particular type of birth, pregnancy, or postpartum.
Babies up to 12 months are welcome to attend.
A mixture of psychoeducation, peer support and discussion, and body-based practice and skills. Facilitated by a midwife / birth reflections practitioner, and a therapist, who are both also yoga teachers.
Some feedback from our last group:
“I feel lighter, and proud that I tackled the difficult feelings.”
“The group was extremely welcoming and calm and very well facilitated.”
“An understanding and sensitive approach to all birth experiences, held by supportive, knowledgeable and trustworthy facilitators.”
“These last couple of weeks I really felt a shift and a sense of lightness that I hadn’t noticed before.”
You can read more about the group and what to expect here: www.stroudmotherhood.com/birth-experience-circle
We look forward to welcoming you
Frequently Asked Questions
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A birth reflection, (sometimes called a birth debrief) is a structured, trauma-informed conversation in which we gently explore your experience of birth, pregnancy, or the postpartum period. It's different from simply talking things through with a friend or even a standard debrief; it draws on an understanding of birth physiology, maternity care, the nervous system and the body's stress responses to help you make sense of what happened and why you might still be carrying it.
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This is one of the most important questions to answer, because it stops so many people from seeking support they genuinely need.
Clinically, birth trauma is understood as any experience during conception, pregnancy, labour, birth or the postpartum period that felt overwhelming, frightening, or out of your control, where your capacity to cope was exceeded. It doesn't require a dramatic event, a near-miss, or a diagnosis. It doesn't require an emergency caesarean or a haemorrhage or a baby in NICU, though those experiences absolutely count.
What also counts is a birth where you felt ignored, overridden, or not listened to. One where you consented to something without fully understanding what was happening, or without fully embodied consent, maybe you signalled ‘yes’ because you felt you had no other options. One where the gap between what you'd hoped for and what occurred has never quite closed. One that felt fine at the time but has lodged somewhere you can't reach.
Trauma is not determined by what happened. It's determined by how your nervous system processed it. Two people can go through near-identical births and have entirely different responses, and both are valid.
If you find yourself thinking it wasn't that bad, other people had it worse, hold that thought because comparison is one of the most common ways people talk themselves out of support they deserve.
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We sit together for 75 minutes, either at my home in Randwick near Stroud, or online. We begin wherever feels most present for you — there's no pressure to tell your story from beginning to end or to share everything. I'll follow your lead, and we'll work with whatever feels most alive and most charged, at a pace that feels safe. Drawing on Somatic Experiencing principles, I'll pay attention not just to the story itself but to how it's held in your body and nervous system — noticing tension, activation, or shutdown and gently supporting your nervous system toward settling and integration.
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In the days following your session, I send you a detailed personal letter drawing together everything we explored; the themes that emerged, moments that mattered, and insights that surfaced. People return to these letters often.
There is also the option of a personalised yoga nidrā practice, carefully tailored to the specific themes and nervous system responses that arose in your session, with a recording for ongoing support.
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NHS birth debriefs are usually offered by a midwife or supervisor reviewing your notes with you, answering clinical questions and explaining what happened from a medical perspective. They can be valuable, and if you haven't had one, it's worth requesting.
But they have real limitations. They are often brief, sometimes a single appointment. The focus tends to be on clinical events rather than on how the experience affected you emotionally, physically or psychologically. The midwife offering the debrief works within the same system that cared for you, which can make it difficult to speak freely, or to receive a fully independent perspective.
A session with me is different in several ways. I have no connection to your care and no institutional position to protect, so I can offer an honest, independent view. Sessions are longer and go at your pace. As well as helping you understand what happened clinically, I pay attention to how the experience lives on in your body and nervous system, the part that a standard debrief rarely reaches.
Some people come to me having already had an NHS debrief that left questions unanswered, or that felt incomplete. Others come because they didn't feel able to be fully honest in a hospital setting - both are valid reasons.
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There's no cut-off. People come to me weeks, months, or years after their birth. Whenever you feel ready — or curious — is the right time.
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Birth reflections are not a substitute for psychotherapy, and I am not a therapist. If it becomes clear that what you're experiencing would be better supported by a therapist or clinical psychologist, I will say so and can help with signposting. That said, many people find a birth reflection to be deeply therapeutic — the combination of clinical midwifery knowledge, somatic awareness and a genuinely held space can offer something that's hard to find elsewhere.
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A birth reflection session (75 mins) is £120. A personalised one-to-one yoga nidrā with bespoke recording is £95
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Yes, and some people find this really helpful. You can send them to me in advance or bring them to the session, it's entirely optional. I can help you make sense of medical language, understand decisions that were made, or simply have someone read them with you who understands what they mean.
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Neither. Some people come specifically because they're preparing for a future birth and want to process the previous one first. Others come postnatally and later find that the work shifts how they feel about pregnancy again. Wherever you are in your journey is welcome.
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Yes, absolutely. Partners, non-birthing parents, co-parents and supporters are present at birth too, and what they witness and experience matters. Watching someone you love go through something frightening, feeling helpless, not knowing what was happening or whether everyone was going to be okay — that can leave its own mark.
Partners sometimes find it harder to name what they're carrying, because the instinct is to focus on the person who gave birth. But if the experience is sitting with you, if it changed something in how you feel, in your relationship, in how you approached the days and weeks that followed, that is worth bringing.
Sessions for partners and non-birthing parents follow the same approach: unhurried, led by you, with attention to both the story and how it lives in the body. You don't need to have a clear sense of what you want from it. Wanting to understand what happened, or simply needing the experience witnessed, is enough.
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Yes, completely. Sessions are open to all parents, birthing people, non-birthing parents, co-parents and supporters, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship structure or family makeup.
If you have experienced birth trauma, or are carrying something difficult from your pregnancy, birth or postpartum period, you are welcome here.
I use inclusive language throughout my practice and will always follow your lead on the language you use for yourself, your body and your family.
What clients say
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“I attended a birth reflection session with Oli and found it incredibly helpful in coming to terms with my birth experience and its impact on me. Oli was kind, compassionate and deeply understanding, helping me reframe what had happened during the birth. Her summary email afterwards brought real clarity to our discussion and gently challenged some of my negative thinking. I felt truly heard and understood throughout the process. Oli’s midwifery knowledge and guidance were also invaluable when thinking about future births. Overall, the sessions helped me begin to heal and move forward, and I would wholeheartedly recommend her to anyone wanting support to process their birth story.” — former client
“I had a 1:1 session with Oli to debrief and talk about my birth experience that happened a year and a half before. I experienced a long and painful birth which was planned at home, but eventually ended up in the hospital, and “..although I delivered my baby vaginally as I wished for, the whole experienced left me with a lot of fear about birthing again and a disturbing feeling of trauma stored somewhere in my body…”
“I felt the need to talk to a professional with experience in birthing babies to go through my story, understand better what took place, and find a sense of peace and closure. Oli was the perfect person for me to turn to and I am soooo grateful for the space she held, the questions she asked, the connections she made and her absolutely heartfelt open, compassionate and tender guidance throughout my whole process of unraveling… I felt her interest, her will to serve and help me to be really genuine. This session brought me a lot of release and healing. I now feel like I understand the circumstances of my birth far better and I think that if I were to become pregnant again, I would come to that birth with renewed confidence and faith in my body and in the process, thanks to Oli.” DB
“Thank you so much for your time yesterday and for welcoming us into your home. The summary of the conversation is an incredibly helpful record to have and I think it captures what we talked about beautifully and with so much empathy. I found myself tearing up (in a good way!) while reading it through the first time and have read it through several times since and shared it with my husband too.”
I didn't expect doing a birth reflection to be so powerful. I'm very grateful to have had the opportunity to attend the course and to talk with you one on one.” RP
I wasn’t sure I was traumatised enough for a birth reflection, but I just couldn’t get over my disappointment with how things had gone. Oli was more interested in how I felt about it all then what had actually happened, which was hugely validating and the first time my feelings made sense. Since my session, I do feel lighter and calmer.“
I felt really comfortable and held with Oli. The session was far reaching but also grounding. I felt heard and given the space and time to reflect and to show my former self grace and gentleness and kindness. Thank you Oli - the session has stayed with me - helpfully and usefully - and I'm so grateful for the time with you.
“I was trying to find the words to capture how grateful I was for our session and for your email, which has helped to clarify our discussion in my head, and I have returned to it several times to reinforce a new (and more positive) narrative I want to believe about my birth. When I first read it, I felt immediately heard and understood.” SF
Let's work together
get in touch for a complimentary 15-minute phone conversation
email: oli@healingbirths.co.uk